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A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes,windshield wipers and laser printers have in common?
A. All were invented
Q. What is the only
food that doesn’t spoil?
Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father’s Day
In Shakespeare’s time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the
phrase…’Goodnight , sleep tight’
It was the accepted
practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride’s father would supply his new son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
In English pubs, ale
is ordered by pints and quarts… So in old England , when
customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them ‘Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.’ . .. .
It’s where we get
the phrase ‘mind your P’s and Q’s.
Many years ago in
England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups.When they needed a refill ,
1. You accidentally
enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven’t
played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries…
7. Every commercial on television has a Web site at the bottom of the screen
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone,which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it !
10. You get up in the morning and go on-linebefore getting your coffee
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 🙂
12 You’re reading this and
nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy
to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list
.~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
NOW you’re LAUGHING at yourself!
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves,